This is another guest post from Jen, my really awesome semi-regular guest poster.
Jen believes that eating well shouldn’t be stressful and loves coming up with easy recipes, making food choices that make her feel good, and learning about healthy living.
I haven’t been on Facebook in at least a year and a half. And I don’t regret it.
It definitely puts me in a minority. But let me tell you why.
When I used it, I would I browse through photos and see what people were up to, just as many people do.
But much of the time, I would feel worse afterward.
It always left me with a sinking feeling… from comparing myself to others, wishing I was prettier, thinking that others’ lives looked more fun, and if only I more had self-confidence, my life would be, too… does this sound familiar to you?
There were a few friends’ pages I would regularly visit. But Facebook also makes it easy for you to be a voyeur and browse through friends of friends and acquaintances, (usually) as long as you have been “friended.”
Before I knew it, I would think, What am I doing? This is pathetic! How have I spent so much time on here doing nothing but depleting my self-esteem? And why do I keep doing it?
I finally decided to make my account inactive. I’m not on a Facebook rant here. There is a time and place for it, and I’m not saying I’ll never use it again.
However, if you are not using it as what it was meant to be- a lighthearted online activity- and always end up comparing yourself negatively, you know who you are!
One of my art professors once said that we are a society that is very controlled by images. I’m not sure why I remembered that line, but it’s true.
So, if you are prone to feeling down about yourself after some form of media use, here’s what I’m working on to start taking back control of my mind.
Resentment, bitterness, and jealousy are not emotions I want to knowingly cultivate, if I have the option to just cut off a source.
Your Facebook Account
Make a radical decision, and make it inactive if it has become more of a negative thing for you than positive!
If you don’t feel like you need to take that step, still remember this: everything you see and read are very constructed, even calculated, versions of how people want to present themselves.
Magazines
Even when I first started researching diet/skin, for a long time I was still guilty of scouring through every glossy magazine I got my hands on, hoping for any kind of tips.
I know, kind of embarrassing for someone who professes an interest in natural health to admit.
Despite how much I hate the way conventional fashion mags portray women, I somehow kept thinking I would stumble upon a miraculous piece of advice.
Needless to say, I was wrong.
They seem to recycle their content- I’m not sure how many times I’ve read that eating more beta-carotene will give you a natural “glow.” Allure, Glamour, Teen Vogue, Vogue, Cosmo… ugh!
But it doesn’t stop there. Even some (but not all) of the magazines that present themselves as an “alternative” to the aforementioned still have a tendency to portray a homogenized version of femininity.
Like Nylon. I might flip through it occasionally for non-beauty related content if I’m at a bookstore, but I would ditch that first group altogether.
Other Online Social Outlets
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re nearly addicted to online habits that aren’t doing your mental health any favors?
There are so many online venues for posting photos and updating the world on your life. Let’s say you know of someone who’s always posting pictures on Twitter, a blog, or tumblr.
You tend to feel envious of this person for whatever reason, but you keep returning. Make a commitment to stop.
In short, make your media use work for you, not against you. 🙂
(Random 2017 Update by Tracy: Check out a chrome browser extension called “Newsfeed Eradicator”. It blocks the facebook newsfeed from showing. So you can still have facebook but you don’t get sucked into it the same way, wasting your time and self esteem! I LOVE IT!)




14 Responses
I think that “calculated persona” is something important to remember. I have several friends on facebook whose posts ALWAYS seem like they’re rehearsed. Everything from their pictures to their words is just so calculated and thought out and even if it seemingly portrays them in a negative light, it portrays them in a negative light in which they WANT to be portrayed in.
I haven’t gone out of my way to portray myself as something I’m not, and I’d like to believe that for the most part, I’m honest to myself and I portray myself as how I really am. Not everyone appreciates that, but I’d rather lose friends over my true personality than keep faux-friends over a personality which is not truly me.
Social networking sites are great, but only for keeping up with friends. Not so much for supplementing a social life.
Sometimes going on facebook upsets me because I see people who are doing better than me. Or sometimes the opposite is true – I’ll see someone I really care about and their lives are at a complete standstill. They haven’t changed since high school and they probably won’t anytime soon.
P.S. as far as fashion mags go, I feel like Nylon is less pretentious and offensive than most of those other ones like Vogue and Seventeen or what have you.
your thoughts are so in line with mine here! i totally agree that social networking can be beneficial for staying in touch, but it can become problematic if you start analyzing it way more than anyone is meant to. and yes about faux-friends! i found it weird anyway when someone from school would send a friend request but not really speak to me IN class- i so don’t need that.
and yeah, not bashing nylon! i actually prefer their version for guys 🙂 i just kind of cringe at most of the others… and at the thought that i even used to pay for some of them!
Wow, I thought I was the ONLY one who felt this way!!! I love this blog post, Hanna! Facebook is totally addicting and, like you, I feel like it only makes me feel HORRIBLE about myself and my life. I tend to find myself thinking that everyone else is beautiful, everyone else is having more fun, everyone else has more friends, etc…..! I had actually never thought of just closing my account (duh!) 😉 but you’re right–if it’s doing my self-esteem and overall mental state more harm than good, then maybe it’s something I should seriously consider. Thank you for being so honest! And you’re right, everyone is carefully presenting themselves in a certain way, myself included. Facebook is in no way an accurate view of reality! I look forward to more posts from you! 😉 (and by the way, you are beautiful with seemingly FLAWLESS skin!!!)
i had a feeling i surely couldn’t be the only one who felt this way!
and wow, thank you- but even my picture on here is not randomly chosen, though! i’m not immune to the tendency to try to present yourself in a certain light. but right now, i think i’m better off just not spending much energy on an online “persona” altogether, as i found myself doing on facebook. 🙂 plus, who knows what getting off of facebook might free up your mind to accomplish!
Ah, this is me! You’ve really made an important point, here.
thanks! i don’t think this subject should be off-limits, but for some reason, it seems that it’s not really talked about!
Yay! I actually just deactivated my facebook account about a month ago. I totally agree with you! That was one reason why I got rid of it. It’s a big waste of time! aha Glad to see that someone else figured this out as well (:
awesome! and yeah, when i did it, i thought, why did this decision take me so long?! it’s so simple! 🙂
The thing about Facebook is so true! I am starting to dislike it. Just before I was going through deleting everything on it as I don’t like the idea of people seeing stuff that I don’t want them to, and I felt so upset at some of the older posts! Not because they were abusive, but because they were written by people at a time when I was not necessarily happy with who I was as a person, and so it was like re-visiting the past. I’m glad the posts have been deleted, which has in a sense cut ties with things from the past. They now reside in my mind, not for all to see.
hi, steve! i totally understand. it’s good to feel like you can “start over” with a blank slate at any time when you’re free of an online persona you may not like anymore.
not to mention what a waste of time it all is… i just deleted twitter and facebook from my phone.. i must check it 100 times a day…. oh what to do with all that time??
feels great to rid myself of this bad habit!
I know. It is such a waste of time!! Make sure to do productive things with your new found time instead of replacing facebook with some other time waster…. it’s so easy to replace one addiction with the next! I’m currently battling an addiction to the internet myself (not so much facebook, just internet browsing)… it’s kinda hard because I have to use it for my blog, yet I’d love to just chuck my entire computer out the window. Need to find that elusive balance.
I’m glad I came across this. I stopped losing interest in social media during my junior year in high school. I would question myself WHY I was on and WHY I cared about what people were doing. In the end, I would feel a little uncomfortable and unhappy after browsing around but I knew I had no reason to be. I’m currently doing my second year in college and just recently had the courage to permanently delete Facebook. I’ve been very pleased with my decision and don’t plan on going back anytime soon! 🙂