This is a reader story by Love Vitamin fan Marie (submit your own reader story here)
Hi Tracy! I am so glad I found your website because I think your story resonates with my own in how you have demonstrated that skin conditions like acne have the tendency to take over ones’ entire being when they’re at their worst!
It happened to me too. You seem to have come out of the fog and into the light, so to speak, and it’s so inspiring! 🙂
My story is probably similar to many others, I’m sure. I’m not quite clear of my acne yet, but it’s really getting much better- I’m so excited! 🙂
Here goes.
In the Beginning…
As a child, I never washed my face and had perfect skin, albeit, quite sensitive. I LOATHED going down the detergent isle at the grocery store as a child because my face would get red, tight and burn, my eyes would get itchy and watery and I’d sneeze.
At a very young age, I knew that I couldn’t be around strong scented products, as much as I loved and still love perfumes and anything pretty from The Body Shop (bye bye, Body Shop….sniff, sniff)
Once high school hit, I started to listen to my peers and the media more (tsk, tsk!) and began to no longer protect my sensitive, pale skin while outdoors. That resulted in frost bite/wind burn on my cheek during the winter and then an incompetent dermatologist using some kind of CO2 laser (??) on my face which gave way to the development of a permanent scar.
Thereafter, I was getting increased deep flushing in both my cheeks accompanied by a really bad burning sensation. I tried to eliminate any type of food that may have been causing it (the jury’s still out on whether it was from the frostbite, that laser thing or if my sensitive skin was just getting worse naturally), knitting HUGE scarves to cover up during the winter months and coating on the sunscreen whenever I went outdoors.
The Start of the Breakouts
After high school, that’s when I started to break out in pimples- on my back too. During that time, from junior high right up until last month, I was using the St. Ive’s Apricot Scrub and anything I could get my hands on at Shoppers Drug Mart or Lawton’s Drugs. I know you’re Canadian too, Tracy, so you know what I’m talking about here :).
I even tried stuff like Zhongzhou Ointment that would treat demodex mites on the face…..that’s another story 😛
I thought these products were helping my extremely sensitive skin but really, they were exacerbating its sensitivity. I couldn’t even touch my face or sleep on it because it just hurt too much.
Now, I was never one to wear any foundation on my face, just a little Physician’s Formula green-tinted moisturizer(and at that time back in high school, it still had SPF in it; now they no longer make it at all, just the concealer) to cover up any random pimple or redness where my scar was on my left cheek.
Whenever I’d get a flare, I’d wet a washcloth with freezing cold water and drape it over my face and go lie down. I hated my life. I couldn’t concentrate on anything especially when my face would be in a flare. I didn’t want my red, flushed face to be seen in public because people would ask if I was ok and I would get so self-conscious.
Research Begins
I researched online and came to the conclusion that I have rosacea. So I went to the doctor. She told me to go to a dermatologist. She prescribed some kind of cream that never helped. I was poor (still am!) and couldn’t keep paying for prescription creams for the rest of my life when I knew they weren’t going to work.
That cream made me break out too! So luckily, at the time, MCP covered a much better laser treatment called IPL- Intense Pulse Light. It is no longer covered in my province- rats. It saved my rosacea from that permanent burning red flush!
The Acne Strikes Back
For a few years after, my skin was pretty much perfect- except for my back. Now, five years after, right around the time they say to go back and get “touch-up” treatments, I have been breaking out all over. I think it is called hormonal acne.
I am 31 years old and get acne on my neck! What the hell?! My sister was getting it too and she’s two years older than I am and she was like, “Marie, prepare for it- once you hit 30, you’re gonna get the Fecknath (our last name) curse- vampire bites!” LOL! Not so funny when I really did start to get them!
Anyway, my dad was always telling his daughters to stop putting “shit”, as he calls it, on our faces. We never listened to him and just kept on breaking out. His family comes from a line of oily siblings who look virtually ageless.
He doesn’t wash his face and never has, to my knowledge. I remember a time when he and I went to my uncle’s cabin for a few days fishing and the whole time I was there, I never showered. My face wasn’t dry at all, whereas when I would wash my face and/or exfoliate every day, it would be stripped of its natural oils and mantle, and it would be so sensitive and dry that I’d have to moisturize and then, bam, I’d break out!
It was a vicious cycle that I never knew was happening until recently!
Turns out…. Dad was right all along!!
So, looking back, Dad was right. My advice for everyone with acne issues echoes this sentiment – DO NOT WASH YOUR FACE! I’ve been doing it for a few weeks now and my face doesn’t feel greasy, though it’s not dried out at all. I think it’s healing very well, and it’s definitely not as sensitive as before.
I’ve been reading the rosacea forums and many people have been saying that the Caveman Regimen is where it’s at! My pimples are all dried up, now there are only red spots in their place, my face no longer requires moisturizer, and I no longer wear concealer on my pimples- because I don’t have any!
And maybe makeup has been part of the problem too. Even though I’ve used makeup that is supposedly non-comedogenic, hypoallergenic, and it contained all “natural” ingredients, I still think that my skin just can’t handle so much “junk”. It needs to breathe.
I look at my boyfriend who has flawless skin and never does anything except trim his beard when it gets unruly, and I think, wow- we women have been duped. We’re taught from a very young age that washing our faces with expensive cleansers and wearing lots of makeup with many containing questionable ingredients are what we should be doing to our skin.
Turns out… NO, we shouldn’t!
My boyfriend hates makeup and says that I look way better without any anyway and even when I wear lip gloss, he wipes his mouth after kissing me and says, “Ew- whale blubber- too slippery!” Even though it’s not whale blubber, of course! 😛 It does contain petroleum though, which to me, is probably just as bad.
I Feel So Much More Confidence Now
I really want all women to embrace who we are, naturally. If you can do it …. don’t wash your face and don’t wear makeup. At least where you know you are prone to break out. In my opinion, it’s not worth it!
The media want you to feel bad about yourself so you go out and buy product after product so that they can make lots of money off you. It just takes away your own unique beauty, imho. Doing what we’ve been doing for so long just doesn’t make good sense, it seems.
The pretty packaging on these products and the claims made about their purpose are just that- pretty packaging and claims (more like bullshit to me, but hey, sometimes I don’t care about my vocabulary usage!)
I know it has been difficult for me to change my way of thinking when I comes to the cosmetic industry, but I found that when I purged virtually my entire supply of cosmetics, I started to feel less anxious about my appearance- after a few days, of course! There is an adjustment period 😛
I am also a firm believer in the saying, “You are what you eat.” AND, “You are what you think.”
So, I am 31 years old, though I look much younger than that according to lots of people, which has been a help and a hindrance in some ways….so yes, I am 31 years old, 5’3”, 110 lbs., which is NORMAL, I have cellulite, I have an ass, I’m basically flat-chested, I have big feet, long arms, naturally blond hair and have never and will never dye it, am lactose intolerant, and I’ve learned to love myself the way I am.
My family and friends love me the way I am and so do I and that’s all that really matters. I can’t imagine myself any other way than how I am right now in my life. I look after myself and care about what goes inside my body as well as what goes on it.
It’s a shame that we as women are taught to cover and/or change our natural selves and our so-called “flaws”. Wouldn’t it be a very strange and boring world if we were all the very same balloon-chested, bleach-blond haired, lolli-pop stick woman that we so often see in the media…. where everything is altered or covered so that there is no semblance of who we really are?
I really don’t think this is the way we should aspire to look. For a while, I’m sure I have thought that way too. :/ It’s always being pushed in our faces anyway, right? Sigh
Thank You For Helping Me See the Light
I once taught ESL in South Korea and so many of the women, even the young high school girls I taught had some form of plastic surgery done or were planning to get it done during their school break.
I know that different cultures have different concepts of beauty but when it becomes a distorted version of nature, then that is cause for alarm, in my mind.
What are we teaching our daughters? MUST we be so self-absorbed and insecure at the hands of the 1% to succumb to their advertisements and procedures? Have we lost the ability to think critically for ourselves? And if we are part of said 1%, is the money really worth it? Do we truly feel whole?
I say a big, fat NO! 🙂
Thanks to people like Tracy for having this blog here, we, the masses, can once again remember that what is on the inside really is what is most important!
Marie x
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PS from Tracy –
If you’re wondering how you can begin getting rid of your acne in a way that feels natural and puts you in touch with the REAL you…. so you can shed the insecurities, the mask of cosmetics and really shine your true light, just like Marie…
Make sure you sign up for my newsletter to learn my clear skin system and get the juiciest tips 🙂 You’ll also get my totally free report ‘7 Things You Can Start Doing Right Now to Clear Your Skin’!
Just click here to sign up now and receive your free gift right away.
Lots of love,
Tracy x
11 Responses
I love this, Marie! Doesn’t life get so much easier when you realize you don’t need all the crap you grow up thinking you do?? I still wear makeup, but I no longer “need” it and sometimes go without it – which was a huge development for the health of my skin and my mind. I too had some pretty impressive success from the Caveman a couple years ago, and to this day stay with the “water only” washing approach.
I’m glad you post positive stuff from readers, Tracy. This really brightened up my day to read. 🙂
Hi Kit,
Glad you enjoyed this story, I enjoyed it too 🙂 I agree with you… letting go of my “need” for makeup was so psychologically freeing. I never wore a lot of makeup… basically the same as I do now…. a little concealer under the eyes, mascara, and any pimples or red marks I might have covered up with a dab of makeup. BUT the difference now is that if someone saw me without that.. even if I happen to have a pimple at the time.. I don’t care at all. It doesn’t bother me. Before, the idea of ANYONE seeing me without the eye concealer, mascara and pimples covered up …. like in any situation, even if I was camping or had just woken up ….. was like the most horrifyingly uncomfortable thing to me.
Hey Tracy how can i know what sort of scars/pigmentation I do have?
I’m very confused about what I have(PostInflammedHyperpigmentation/Rolling Scars/ Boxing scars)
An answer would be so nice!?
Thanks for all your tipps and this nice story.
Hi Brandy 🙂 are they flat or are they indented? If they are flat then they’re just post-pigmentation
haha thank you.
I think it’s a bit indented, so does this also fade away? 😀
They can, I can’t make promises though. Eat well with lots of food with foods that contain vitamin C, and protein.. and you can also eat foods with collagen in them like homemade bone broth (look it up). These will help your skin become resilient to scars and repair them
Tracy what food high in vit.C?
I have scars, and red spots, and a lot blackheads as well.Sill pimples.
If I remember correct for you jojoba oil was number one for getting rid of blackheads?
Hi Tracy, thank you so much for your posts about healing ourselves emotionally. It’s been such a struggle. It took a lot of stress, effort and money might I add, to realise it wasn’t working out for me. I started eating like a the most perfectly healthy person you will ever meet when I was 12. It got worse – probably because when I treated myself with two tim tams occasionally, i’d slap myself and then cry because I feared breaking out. Now I don’t. I accept myself. I’ve felt so brave doing the caveman routine this past month its helping and bringing my emotional trauma down to nothing. I understand now I have to really love myself. I’m an appearance obsessed teenager so for a bit of time I was associating my acne with me being ugly, the reason I shouldn’t talk to boys and no one befriending me. Gosh, it’s a terrible thought process. I’m still making progress to not stress about a new pimple but i’m happy to say i’m 80% clear with a bit of scarring to handle. Acne is a trap. I got asked to be a model 6 months ago. This confused me so much. I didn’t believe my mum when she first told me. My thoughts – “But I have acne and scars? I’m ugly!”. I grasped the concept- everyone is beautiful just not everyone feels it. And acne isn’t a flaw, It’s something that made me realise I need to raise my self esteem and love myself. Acne makes you FEEL all these dumb feelings and you begin to BELIEVE in it all and then it becomes like a fact to you. It’s a vicious cycle and the only cure is really mind over matter- telling you’re self you’re a beautiful person, skin and heart. Never let acne make you feel worthless.
I appreciate every terrible bit of acne I’ve been through. I don’t mind that I’m the healthiest and most self respecting 14 year old out there :).
Thank you Tracy for all this help.
x Kat
This!! Everything you just said I think is amazing and completely agree. We’ve all been through these feelings of allowing acne and what we look like to dictate our feelings of self worth. This is why acne is so emotionally traumatic for most of us. It’s not just an annoying skin thing, we build it to mean so much more.
Healing your skin – but more than that… healing your skin and actually becoming HAPPY – is all a mind game.
Anyway…. stoked you’ve come to these amazing you’ve come to these realizations so early in your life!!! Seriously very happy for you there because you’re going to be a lot happier going forward than most 🙂
It’s so cool that it’s because of “disasters” like acne in our lives, we learn to become liberated from the things that REALLY have been trapping us like false advertisements and complex regimens for our “well being.” I’m actually so grateful I went through severe acne, because I learned how to have clear skin for life the easiest way possible.
Hi Marie (& Tracy ;D ),
Your story is truly inspirational, and relatable. I have been suffering from acne for years. About three years ago (after a lot of skin-picking and unprotected tanning, believing that the sun would burn my acne away) I started developing rosacea too.
I started the caveman regimen about a week ago because I was so fed up with the endless routine of BS – pardon me – just to keep my acne/rosacea in check (washing twice a day, moisturizer, acne cream, make up etc, you know the deal).
I do a modified caveman where I don’t wash every day, but sometimes use a cottonball and mineral water to remove some flaky skin (I know.. gross..). Overall, I am pretty confident that this is the solution I have been searching for. My skin looks and feels nice, my forehead is a little oily but not too much, and I have some dry patches due to the pimples that just dried out and healed overnight (can you believe it!? :O)
The only thing that’s bothering me right now is the general redness. I have some broken capillaries and plenty of acne scars. I don’t have the severe sort of pit scars, it’s just a lot of red spots, mainly on my cheeks.
I first want to see if my skin can heal the acne scars on its own (but if you have any tips about speeding up this process, they’re always welcome!).
I do still flush from time, especially now that it’s fall where I’m living (Holland), and I have to deal with the cold outside and heat inside.
The redness that is always there makes me deeply insecure and I can’t count the number of reviews I have read about IPL and Laser treatments for rosacea anymore. I am just hoping that the caveman regimen will improve my skin some more up to the point where the redness might be managable.
I have a few questions..
Marie: Did IPL truly work for your rosacea? Did it help with the blushing/flushing or with the broken capillaries (if you had them).
Tracy: How do you feel about laser and IPL? Just general curiosity 😉
Also, do you happen to have a nice method for fading acne scars?
Finally, I would like to thank you, Tracy, for many things. You made me realize that less is in fact more. I used to deeply hate my face.
Then I learnt that there might be more to my acne than just an hormonal imbalance. I learnt to see my acne not as the enemy, but as a sign that I was out of whack – physically and mentally. I cleaned up my diet and I started to exercise again. I had stopped doing this during the period I suffered from bulimia nervosa (age 16-20, I’m 22 now).
I threw out all my harsh cleansers and creams and started using gentle, more natural products. And now, I’m not using any products anymore. I feel so liberated! My boyfriend has been telling me for years that I am beautiful the way I am, that I don’t need make-up. But I always thought that he was just saying these things to make me feel better.. Pretty sad really. He was the one who told me three years ago that the products I used might even contribute to my acne. I guess it took a girl who knew what I was going through to convince me of this, and that girl was you.
The caveman regimen is the best thing I have done for myself (and my acne)!
Thanks for everything, and keep up the good work, continuing to help others learn to love themselves!
xxx Cleo