So… I have a confession:
I’m breaking out!!! AGH!! Suddenly, my chin is dotted with small pimples, and a couple of larger under the skin pimples that I haven’t had in years.
It’s not like the days of the severe acne, that’s for sure. But my chin hasn’t looked this bad since then.
The one thing I’ve changed? Well, I decided to quit using Estroblock & the Thorne SAT liver support supplement.
I found that these two supplements made a really big difference in that last bit of mild stubborn acne that I get on my chin. As in nearly eliminating it altogether, even when a “perfect” diet and lifestyle didn’t seem to.
However, since I discovered them a couple years ago, I’ve never really completely gone off of them. Estroblock, I have been through phases of using more of it, and right down to using very little of it. But never completely off it.
Thorne I never stopped because I only take one per day.
One day I decided, you know what? Let’s see what will happen if I just stop using them. I’m curious.
And well, here’s another secret: we are thinking of maybe having a baby sooner rather than later (okay like maybe next year… maybe. Don’t hold me to that), and I don’t want to use these while pregnant.
So, you know. I would have to be off them at some point.
So why not give it a whirl now?
So anyway, I stopped using them altogether about two months ago.
And for two months, my skin looked pretty dang good! A couple small pimples but nothing too bothersome.
I thought HA! Yes! I don’t need them. I win!
Or So I Thought…
But then a few days ago, suddenly my chin looks pretty bad :/
Again, not severe acne bad, but none too pretty. Thank goodness for concealer.
In years past, this would have put me into an emotional tailspin. I hadn’t really healed the emotional trauma from the severe acne and the appearance of any acne at all reminded me of that pain so acutely that I could barely handle it.
Now, it’s different.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like it. At all. I don’t want to be breaking out, and if I let it, I could allow the doom to infiltrate me and ruin my days.
All the plans I have for the summer have begun running through my mind… I have a camping, or kayaking, or climbing, or festival trip planned nearly every other weekend, and I’m like “AGGH I can’t be breaking out! I am the fucking acne guru! What will people thiiiiink”
Yes, most of my anxiety about it seems to stem from the fact that I run an acne website, less so about the pimples themselves anymore.
I mean, I’m going to my 10 year school reunion next month, where everyone will want to know what “I do”. Oh the potential JUDGMENT! *starts planning to say I invented Post-It Notes, Romy & Michele style*
And then I just have to remind myself that… like.. whatever. I’m still fabulous. If people think things, then the only thing I can do is take “the spiritual path of not giving a shit” and have a great time. Because the alternative only hurts me.
All the personal work I’ve done on self love has really helped here, and also mastering the completely outstandingly useful skill of not letting a glimmer of nervous fear spiral into a pit of fearful death.
This Isn’t Something I Can’t Control
But you know what else certainly helps? Is that I’ve done so much experimentation and figured out so well what works for me, that I know exactly how to get rid of it.
And that certainly feels a lot better than not knowing how or what to do.
And for that, I am very thankful. The journey to figuring your own body out can be frustrating, but is definitely rewarding in the peace of mind it affords.
So while this breakout definitely sucks, at least I know it’s not a random thing I can’t control. I know this is going to pass quick enough.
I just need to follow my own advice.
I need to look at where my weakest links are in my health and address them. For me right now it would be this:
- It’s probably time to maybe tighten up my diet a little (I think maybe the use of these supplements have allowed me to be a little bit too lenient in that arena…)
- Maybe do a candida cleanse to help me reset my body and gut (although I probably won’t do that until the fall)
- Get back into a regular exercise schedule (yes, after my triumphant last post, I immediately fell off the wagon for the last month since we have moved house … although I have been gardening up a storm instead!)
And yes, I’m probably going to take the easy way out at least initially and just get back on the supplements.
Although I don’t want to be dependent on them and I know they are not the entire answer (these certainly will not work as well if you pair them with a totally unhealthy lifestyle), I am certainly thankful they are there to give me a helping hand when I need it.