On Friday, I was discussing why I can, at times, get so obsessive about my food, and that I know the real reason is simply because I have a deep fear about my severe acne coming back.
I manage to be fine with eating out at restaurants sometimes, or eating processed foods once in a while. But the idea of not being in full control of my food for an extended period of time totally freaks me out.
Changing my diet and moving toward a healthier lifestyle is what allowed me to get rid of the acne. So my subconscious feels that if those steps were reversed – ie – I didn’t eat exactly right or keep a tight grip and constant watchdog on my health – the obvious and automatic consequence is that I would slowly break out more and more and more until my skin was exactly where it was when I started.
Due to a very thoughtful comment by a reader named Christelle on Friday’s post, and her reminder that there seems to be a lot of different factors that trigger acne, it got me revisiting what it was that was going on my life when my bad acne struck.
If you’re like me, you’ve probably wracked your brain a thousand times trying to figure out what the exact trigger was that caused your skin to flare up and make your acne worse. And if you’re like me, you still don’t know exactly what it was.
I mean, sure. I was eating really badly when my acne struck. But there have been plenty of times in my life when I was eating and living very unhealthfully and my acne really wasn’t that bad at all.
One time that comes to mind was when I backpacked Europe in 2008. I ended up working at a hostel in Budapest, Hungary, for a couple of months in the winter, and man, were we an unhealthy bunch. We drank to excess every other night, hardly ever went outside, never exercised, stayed up all night and slept till 2 most days (I swear we spent more than half our lives having naps). Diet – I don’t know, but I remember a lot of white bread, pasta, and kit kat bars. Whatever was cheap and easy.
You’d think with a lifestyle like that, I’d be covered in pimples, but on the whole, my skin was fine.
So is it really fair to look at my breakouts as this linear equation? 50% bad diet = 50% face covered in zits?? 70% care free = 70% acne ridden? No, but that’s how my mind thinks about it.
Okay, so let’s examine the things that were going on my life that could have been a contributing factor when I came down with my severe acne.
1) I was in an ill-suited relationship.
Now, I wouldn’t say I was in a bad relationship… he wasn’t a bad guy or anything. We were just really different and not very well suited for each other. And even though I knew it was just a temporary kind of relationship that wasn’t going anywhere, and I logically knew that our problems were simply because we were different with different tastes, I couldn’t help but let it do a number on my self esteem when I felt like I couldn’t totally please him.
I guess I wanted to be a perfect woman, who could please anybody, no matter who they were and how different we were. Kind of lofty goals, no? Well, that backfired on me, certainly. So I was going through a bit of a rough time there.
2) I really was eating badly and drinking more than I wanted
At the time, I was waitressing at a pub in Vancouver. Their “thing” they were known for was that they made their own fancy sausages, and then they served them in a white bun with cheese and vegetables grilled in canola oil and some chipotle sauce on top. They had pretty addicting french fries too. Anyway – the food was really tasty – and we got a free meal every shift. Disaster waiting to happen right there.
Also, if you’ve ever worked in the hospitality industry, particularly in pubs, you may have noticed there is a lot of peer pressure to drink a lot. It was just the work culture to be drinking after shifts, and even during shifts. I wasn’t a big fan of this, and even though I resisted as much as I could, I still ended up drinking more than I wanted to.
3) The stress of the job
I find waitressing stressful. In order to be quick and snappy and be on top of serving all your tables correctly, it’s kind of a given that you need to be a bit stressed out at all times. I feel like I’m a pretty slow paced person by nature, so that didn’t jive with me so well.
4) I took the morning after pill a lot
Because I had a bad experience with hormonal birth control when I was a teenager, I relied on condoms as my sole birth control method for years after that. Unfortunately condoms break and slide off and stuff, and rather be safe than sorry, I would make sure to take a morning-after pill whenever this happened.
To my annoyance, it happened a lot more than I liked, and I took it quite a few times in the few years before my bad acne, and at least 2 (or even 3) times in the months leading up to the severe acne breakout. I assume this probably messed with my hormones a great deal, much like what happens to some people when they go off the birth control pill.
5) I was switching between skin care routines constantly
About four months prior to the bad acne breakout, I decided to quit benzoyl peroxide which I had been using religiously for 4 years. It just didn’t seem like it was doing that much anymore as I was still getting enough breakouts to really peeve me off.
However, two weeks after quitting it, I did begin to break out slightly more than usual on my forehead, which usually responded so well to the benzoyl. So I freaked out and trucked myself to the drug store to scour the aisles looking for something new to try. Every two weeks or so I’d be trying something new – sulfur cream, different moisturizers, different face washes, a topical antibiotic, Differin gel, and even trying to crawl back to benzoyl.
At the time of the breakout itself, I was using something called Carli’s Clear and Smooth, and had been for about a month. The reviews online were soooo good (I actually now think that most of them are fake), and my hopes were so very high. It was more of a natural product, but the product contained really harsh exfoliator beads, and part of the routine was that you had to remove the stuff completely by exfoliating with a wash cloth. It was stressed that you had to do the routine just so or it might not work.
It actually did seem like this was making my non-inflamed skin quite nice and smooth, but looking back, how ridiculously bad is this for inflamed acne? It’s one of the most abrasive things I’d ever used on my skin.
6) The stress of the breakout itself
My breakout started on my forehead, when it seemed like over night, I broke out there worse than I had ever broken out before. I had always perceived my acne as being “bad” before, but this was of the likes I had never seen.
I quit Carli’s Clear and Smooth, thinking it would go away, but it didn’t, so I just got more and more stressed every day. The stress would be the worst when my boyfriend came over because I was so embarrassed, compounding my self esteem issues that were already surrounding him and our relationship.
Then it seemed like the breakout started making its way down my face, until my entire chin and smile lines were as bad as my forehead. I would say I was the most stressed I’d ever been in my life at that point.
… hmm… I guess that’s only 6 reasons.
Okay, so looking at that list, you can see that there were a lot of things going on that may have been a contributing factor to my acne getting as bad as it was.
But guess what?
Half of them are stress related, not food related, and hardly any of these factors even apply to my life anymore and probably won’t again.
1) I’m in a really good relationship now
I broke up with my boyfriend soon after my skin got bad. I wasn’t in love with him, and it was a very mutual break up, so I wasn’t all that upset over that. But dating him did help me to realize how important it is to find someone you really jive with emotionally and who will support you through the bad times. I started dating him in the first place because he seemed cool and exciting, not necessarily because we were well suited.
On the contrast, my current partner, Luke, is the most loving, and emotionally connected guy I could ever ask for. We actually met at the hostel in Budapest and were together for a while, but I went home to Canada and started dating this other guy instead. Although Luke and I got along swimmingly, I was adamant I didn’t want to be with him because he was too “nice” (you know how girls can be about nice guys).
However, we kept in very close contact over the computer, and when my skin got bad, he was actually one of the only people I felt like I could turn to for support because I knew he would offer it without judgment. Just knowing he was there for me and I could talk to him about everything going on was of tremendous comfort to me during that dark time.
After all, it’s not type of thing that you can just talk about with anyone.
Later he came over to North America (he’s from Australia), and we got back together and lived happily ever after once I finally realized that the emotional connection we shared was invaluable. And so…. there you go. This crappy relationship stress factor is now nixed.
2) It’s unlikely I would ever eat that bad again
I hardly ever drink anymore simply because I don’t like being hungover and have better things to do. And I don’t want to work in a restaurant ever again where I get free sausage-in-bun specials for lunch every day. And even if I did get a bit lenient with my diet, I really doubt it will ever get that bad again.
3) I have a job I love
I quit my waitressing job. I realized the environment was not suited to me, whether it was the food, the constant stress, or the peer-pressure. I returned to my job renting kayaks, which was much more chill and much more my style than serving beer. Now I have my own business that I love dearly. So this factor is gone.
4) I have a better form of birth control
A few months after my breakout, I got a non-hormonal copper IUD put in as my method of birth control. It has a 99-point-something-% success rate, and while it can still be problematic for some people, it seems to work quite well for me. So no more morning after pills or hormonal birth control!
5) I don’t even have a skin care routine anymore
Luckily I know better now about how irritating and unnecessary using chemicals on the skin is and also how damaging constantly switching back and forth between skin care products is. I mean, heck, I don’t even wash my face at all anymore and this has worked out the best for my skin yet! So this factor is definitely gone for good.
6) The stress of the breakout…. well….
… if any of these factors are still an issue, it would be this one. I admit to still getting quite aggravated whenever I have mild acne breakouts, and if I suddenly started breaking out badly, I’m not entirely sure I’d be able to keep wraps on my stress.
But…. now that I’ve made this list, do you think it sounds likely that I ever WOULD break out badly again and have to send my stress levels into lock down in order to not make things worse?
It doesn’t really sound like it to me either.
I mean, sure, I may have to deal with mild acne here and there until the time comes when I figure that out for good, but I really shouldn’t be so afraid of it becoming a total disaster again, and focus more on how to truly be okay with the mild acne. Because maybe that is all that is needed for it to go for good. And mild acne never ruled my life before it got severe, so why does it have to now?
If the mild acne isn’t stress related, then whatever. I’ll find something one day. I have not tried every avenue yet (for example, maybe I need to go take a salivary hormone test and there will be a simple supplement that can correct an imbalance and voila. Done. (Update: that happened). I just have to let go, and allow the universe to bring it to me when the time is right.
Besides, I really have had enough experiences now to know that stress can make it so much worse. For example, when Luke came to North America to win me back, we reunited by doing a camping road trip together from Los Angeles to Vancouver. This was only a few months after I had gotten clear from my bad acne, and I was petrified. I was SO scared to be far from home and not eating exactly the way I wanted.
We cooked every single meal on our little camp stove and I mostly was eating how I would have at home, but I was getting caught up on all the little details, and I was so stressed that I really didn’t have that good of a time. I mean, I did have some fun, but I was mostly stressed and itching to get home and back to my kitchen.
Luke and I in the hills ‘o’ California. When I think about this trip, I find it hard not to think about how nutty I was
Didn’t matter though, because I had breakouts the entire trip. When I got home and back to “safety”, they went away. When we went to Australia this winter, I didn’t feel in control of my food and environment again. And I had some pretty persistent breakouts the whole time I was there. Now that I’m back home to “safety”, my skin has been totally great.
I was speculating that my Australia breakouts had something to do with the fact that they have fluoride in their water, and maybe that was a partial factor, but it really does sound stress related doesn’t it??
There’s also the fact that I seem to rarely, if ever, break out on a fun weekend away when I give myself permission (just for that short weekend) to not think about my skin or food too much.
It just goes to show that as much as we want to control, it doesn’t necessarily work to our advantage. We may as well have just let ourselves have a good time AND have clearer skin as a result, right?
Did you have certain factors in your life when your acne started or worsened that no longer apply?
LJ says
May 14, 2012 at 1:53 pmThis is a wonderful post!
I like the fact that you’ve got a sensible thought process going on about why bad skin happened to you – it’s realistic, not, like you said, 50%=50%.
I can completely relate to what you’re saying as well. When my skin started to get really bad, it was at the time when in one week I was terribly bereaved and had £1000 stolen from me (I was 18). I was totally distraught, I hated my life, I was miserable day in, day out, my skin wasn’t shockingly bad, but I fixated on the blemishes I had and couldn’t let it go.
To make things worse, I got a terrible job as a retail assistant; the hours were bad, I ate terribly, I had no friends, I barely exercised, I was repulsed by my face and my looks in general…I was just spiralling to a point where I didn’t know if I could come back from it.
I then started university, which I thought would be good, but I found that I hadn’t sorted out my issues with my appearance. My skin stopped me from going out, so I haven’t got any friends here, 2 years in. I thought everyone would be looking at me, thinking “Why is she bothering, she’s so ugly?”
All of this is because I had/have mild acne. And I need to be honest with myself and say it was mild…what I was seeing in the mirror was all in my head. I’d cultivated a person who was unsociable, unhappy and lonely, all because I felt so hideously ugly.
At the beginning of 2012 I really said to myself I need to sort this out. I didn’t want a 4th year of irrational misery. This blog has helped me a lot to see how benzoyl, differin, antibiotics etc just won’t do the job – I was relying on them, and the fact that they didn’t work made me so much unhappier, because I felt like my skin was so bad it couldn’t be fixed, I’d just be ugly forever.
Now I’m rebuilding my self-esteem slowly but surely. My skin is the best it has been since I was about 17 (I’m now 21). Lifestyle is just so important, and as your blog has shown, it can’t be overstated enough, and I can see a direct relationship between my mental health and my physical health.
I wish everyone the best of luck in healing outside and inside 🙂
Tracy says
May 14, 2012 at 9:24 pmHi LJ,
I’m really happy you’ve come such a long way 😀 It’s hard to think about all the misery we’ve brought onto ourselves over the years, but we learn so much from it. I also wish you luck on your continued healing!
Mary says
May 15, 2012 at 1:22 amLJ…I can identify with so much of what you say. This was a really beautiful post.
For me, my acne comes with my cycle and has been that way for years and years. There was no sudden stressful event that triggered a massive breakout. But I have noticed that stress can make things worse or cause a breakout at an unusual time (not during PMS). So I do think that stress and love can hurt or help our skin.
amy says
May 14, 2012 at 1:59 pmAw it sounds so great how you met your bf, he seems amazing. You’ve done so much travelling in your life! did you just set off alone? I would love to hear how you went about that, i really want to travel the world but im a female and my mum said its dangerous to go alone. also I agree you probally wont be in that place again. however aren’t you more concerened about your digestive problems than your skin now?
Tracy says
May 14, 2012 at 9:35 pmHi Amy 🙂
Yes, I’ve done a fair bit – two major backpacking trips, one to Australia (and south east asia) and one to Europe, both setting out on my own. I don’t think it’s dangerous for females to travel alone if you follow a few general guidelines (don’t walk around at night alone, wear appropriate clothing for your destination)… there’s some places that are more challenging than others, but generally, traveling alone isn’t all that much more dangerous than going about your day to day life wherever you live now. Getting hurt/raped could happen to you anywhere at any time. However, I would say backpackers are probably more likely to get robbed than others, but I don’t think that’s a matter of being alone or not.
I can understand though – the concept is a bit hard on mums to accept. My mom worried, sure, but I’m glad she didn’t not let me go.
As for my digestive problems – yes, they are on my mind, but to be honest, I still think the reason I worry about those so much is because I consider health of the digestion to be linked to health of the skin, so if my digestion sucks, I worry that it will eventually translate into acne. At the core of my worries, it’s still mostly traced back to fear of acne.
Hamed says
May 14, 2012 at 5:15 pmHi Tracy. How we should figure out if Copper IUD is safe for someone?
Tracy says
May 14, 2012 at 9:42 pmHi Hamed
Well, there isn’t a very reliable way to tell, except getting one put in and see if it gives you troubles.
The problem that people have with it is that it can cause a copper imbalance in your body, and excess copper depletes zinc, and this can lead to all sorts of problems. Some people even develop acne because of it.
Not everyone, of course, we’re all different and it just depends how your body responds to it.
You can read more about the excess copper thing and the problems it can cause here:
https://thelovevitamin.com/2594/read-this-copper-toxicity-a-zinc-deficiency-could-be-causing-your-acne/
Anyway… I got a hair mineral analysis done a couple years after getting it and it showed that I didn’t have a copper imbalance or low zinc, so I knew it wasn’t giving me trouble.
If you wanted to get an IUD, I’d recommend reading the book that’s recommended in the above article, and if it sounds like you could have a copper excess, it might not be a good idea.
In the end though, it’s really just seeing how your body responds to it. I don’t know where you’re from, but unfortunately, in the United States, IUDs are really expensive, so trial and error isn’t the easiest thing. In Canada they are cheap, mine was $40, so it’s a bit less risk to just try it out
Marie says
May 14, 2012 at 11:53 pmI can totally relate on going for a trip with the boyfriend and worrying about food/breaking out. We know too much about nutrition and need to relax and be grateful for the food we have.
I remember a trip to Europe; I had just managed to clear up my face before I left, on a vegan/ macrobiotic diet, and I got to France and of course, couldn’t have easily access to those kind of food. I remember a lot of over thinking about food, worrying that my skin would break out again (which happened of course), not truly enjoying eating out. I was so convinced vegan was the solution. To be honest, it took the fun out of it. Now, I try to avoid thinking one diet is the solution, and I try to nourish my body and my soul the best I can. I am still sorting out issues with my appearance too…
Tracy says
May 15, 2012 at 10:00 pmHi Marie – yes the fear and the patterns they create is tough to break, especially when the pain is so significant. It sucks looking back and thinking that we ruined our own trips, but at least we’re learning and moving forward
Annemarie says
May 15, 2012 at 6:45 amAnd even if you were to get a little more acne than you’re comfortable with, you seem to respond so well to candida cleanses.. all it would take is a week or two to put ya back to normal! Unfortunately I quit mine after about a week and a half cause it was too stressful with my family being home and all.. I though it wasn’t doing anything anyway, but now that I quit, its gotten worse! I’m still eating real healthy, just like you said in the other post, I eat and enjoy my carrot muffins or coconut cake every once in a while.. hmm not looking good. Sigh. I’m going to a natuopath in a week, maybe she can fix me. Good luck on everything. Enjoy your life, accept things the way they are.
Tracy says
May 15, 2012 at 10:02 pmGood luck Annemarie, hopefully the naturopath can get you a personally tailored plan that gets you on the right track for you 🙂
Ceres says
May 15, 2012 at 12:44 pmPerhaps not the best solution, but I find that I worry less about outbreaks when I know I can cover them up with makeup. For awhile I was trying not to use any makeup at all and that just made me more stressed out. I obviously don’t have any control over whether or not i’m going to get an outbreak, so knowing that if I do I can cover it up, is relieving.
Just as a side note – I’ve been jumping from one diet/health fad to the next over the past two years to try and clear up my skin. I now eat whatever I want, and while I am certainly not free from acne, I enjoy my life a lot more.
Ceres says
May 15, 2012 at 12:46 pmAnd I should say that Matt Stone was a huge reason I got rid of my orthorexic behaviors.
Tracy says
May 15, 2012 at 10:01 pmI’m really, really happy that I found him 🙂 even if his RRARFY thing doesn’t work, his message is still golden
Yvonne says
May 15, 2012 at 4:39 pmI was eleven years old when I developed serious acne, and it was triggered by using topicals. From about the age of nine, I usually had a few inflamed spots on my forehead, which I think was caused by having a thick fringe with hair product in it. But I decided that as I had now reached puberty, I really should start to take “better” care of my skin and appearance. So I went off to the local pharmacy shop in the town in which I lived and bought a bar of medicated soap. It was the worst thing I ever did. My skin was never the same again. Within weeks I had severe acne all over my face. The thing was – and it seems daft looking back now – I never correlated the severe outbreak with the soap. I was eleven years old at the time and really naive. This soap was sold to cure acne. It was unthinkable that it could actually cause it. I thought my skin was just naturally getting worse because I was approaching my teens and that, actually, without these topicals I could be in a worse situation, if that was possible. So I continued switching from topical to topical during my teens, trying everything, and had severe acne throughout. At nineteen, the penny began to drop. I started reflecting on when I had developed acne. It had actually crossed my mind before but I had never paid much attention to it. Could it really be that these facewashes and topicals were causing it? Well, my skin was in a mess and I thought it was worth a try. So I gave up the chemicals and switched to an all-natural routine, which for the first few months anyway meant just water. My severe acne disappeared. Unfortunately, I have never been able to reverse it fully and have always had mild acne since. Even now, with natural products, I still have to be careful what I put on my skin. For example, one time I tried sea salt water and, although most of my face was fine, my forehead started to break out badly, which I hadn’t experienced since my teens, but it disappeared again quickly when I stopped using the salt. As for the mild acne, I am quite anxious by nature and can get stressed easily and that could, perhaps, fuel it. But I don’t think I am likely to break out with severe acne again – touch wood, as I really think that was caused by the topicals. I wish I had known back then what I know now and had never bought that darn soap. I would have saved myself years of grief.
Tracy says
May 15, 2012 at 10:05 pmHi Yvonne – crazy story! I’m sorry you ended up with so many years of misery due to something so simple! Have you considered trying the caveman no-wash no-water at all thing that I’ve been doing? While it doesn’t seem to work for everyone, you sound like a perfect candidate for it (and I really think it’s done some wonderful things for my skin, so if you can do it, I’d really recommend trying it)
eva says
May 16, 2012 at 12:30 amTracy, how is your caveman routine working right now, do you just never wash your face at all? Or do you sometimes rinse it with water?
Tracy says
May 16, 2012 at 1:25 pmI rinsed it with water about twice after the initial 30 days… so I’m still doing the no-water bit, and my skin keeps getting better and better – it’s not flakey at all like it had been or anything. I’ll do a full update on Friday.
eva says
May 18, 2012 at 9:14 amGreat, I am looking forward to the update! I only tried caveman for 5 days, but my skin got very itchy..
Yvonne says
May 16, 2012 at 10:34 amI did try it for about a week once, although it wasn’t entirely water-free because of washing my hair in the shower. I felt I was starting to break out more, got scared and went back to washing. I wear make-up as well to cover up. I think once some of my scarring fades (I’ve tended to pick a bit), I might brave going make-up free and try washing with water maybe every three days or so. It’s good to hear it’s working well for you!
eva says
May 16, 2012 at 1:17 amWhen I think about when my skin got bad and at what times it was/is good I could write a whole book. I remember having a first zit on my nose at the age of 16 but it only got really bad around 18. I was very unhappy back then, partying a lot (which included doing mdma) and I was in an unhappy relationship. There was a period where the area around my mouth was suddenly covered in whiteheads and it looked like a had a beard! The texture of my skin just looked crazy and I just wanted to squeeze them all out at once. I went to the dermatologist at that time who gave me the harshest topical solution (I don’t remember what it was) that I put on my skin excessively. It literally burned my skin, the whiteheads disappeared after a while, but my skin was just bright red and open like a wound and I couldn’t even cover it with make up anymore. It was just a disaster. Somehow luckily I didn’t get any scars from that. My skin got even worse though around the time I stopped the drugs and also broke up with my boyfriend. I was emotionally very confused about everything that was going on with me and started to feel very depressed. I started dieting then, but more in the form of eating less and not so much thinking about health. I fasted for two weeks which made me insane and weak, but it didn’t clear my skin. Around finishing school and around age 20 my skin looked okay again, but a mild form of acne stayed. It all cleared up completely at the age of 23, when I suddenly had a plan for my life (or I thought I had), I was just accepted at art school and about to move to Switzerland. Still, I wasn’t eating healthy, my digestion was crazy as always, I was still eating a lot of dairy not even knowing that I was lacto intolerant. But I was looking forward to my new life, I was full of energy and my skin was glowing. Then at art school skin issues came back. I was trying too many creams thinking I had to “repair” my skin and developed cosmetic acne. So between 24 and 27 I went through several periods of “water only” which helped the cosmetic acne but also dried my skin out (water maybe too hard, too much washing, didn’t know yet that you don’t need to wash your face at all!!) and skin issues would come and go: rashes, eczema, itchy skin, pimples on forehead, nose and around mouth. Crazy thing is that pimples cleared up again during my thesis work when I finished art school. I actually enjoyed the stress of finishing art school and coming up with a cool project, again, I had a purpose! Since then I just had to deal with mild breakouts comig and going, rashes, itchiness, and from 30 on, wrinkles.. I cannot really say I still have acne, but I’m still dealing with breakouts on a regular basis and I’m so over it, being 32 now! And only the past two years I realised how much damage I’ve done so far to my skin so that it looks a little worn out. Especially skin picking was (and still is sometimes) a problem. But hey, my mum and sister were both skin pickers and they also use a lot of cosmetics, I always just thought it was normal what I was doing to my skin, constantly trying to “fix” something when I just should have left it alone and RELAXed. Altogether I also have to say, that my diet might have been a factor but definitely not the main factor. Emotional health and being gentle to the skin and myself seems to be way more important in the whole picture.
tori says
May 16, 2012 at 3:36 amHi Tracy,
i stumbled across your videos and everything you were saying really resonated with me. i’m currently i the middle of a second course of accutane which i reluctantly agreed to, however it did work so well the first time and i know it will eventually work this time too. i just hate taking it, and i hate taking the pill. i did the holistic approach and washed my face with lemon juice, saw chinese doctors, acupuncturists, i tried all the over counter products.. i know my acne is adult late onset (i’m 26) and is completely hormonal and stress related. I too had periods of being obsessed with the food i ate because of my skin. I know how you feel about the boyfriend situation as well, i’m currently in the middle of the situation you described with the ill suited man, and he doesn’t seem to get it even though he took accutane himself as a teenager. After all of this i read i felt ‘wow i am really not alone in how i feel’ and i that you had been in Newcastle and then nearly fell off my chair. ha! That’s my home town, although i moved down to Sydney two weeks ago. The world gets smaller every second, and here i was thinking ‘gosh she looks familiar’. Thanks so much for all the information you’ve put online i hope to get through watching the rest of your videos.
Tracy says
May 16, 2012 at 1:10 pmHi Tori – it’s really tough to find people who you can talk to about acne who actually understand. And men in particular – not all men, but many times men want to offer solutions, and be the hero that they think their women want. So they offer unwanted solutions or advice that makes us feel like we’re stupid for complaining/feeling bad about our skin… all we want is for them to just listen, but most men don’t get that. My ex boyfriend did this… I never mentioned my acne until it got so bad that I broke down crying one day because I just couldn’t hide it, and he was sympathetic but he was also like ‘its not that bad bla bla’. I was like …. dude, it doesn’t matter what you think, to me, it’s that bad. I’m not just going to ‘get over it because it’s not that bad’. Just….. ugh. Let me be sad about it, and be supportive. agh! Men.
Anyway. That’s funny you’re from NC.. think you maybe saw me walking around the mean streets of Newey? Bar Beach perhaps? Darby Street? That was my hood when I was there.
tori says
May 16, 2012 at 7:26 pmHa yes! I’m from Bar Beach. My folks live up near the bowling club. Crazy days. I’ve always been so conscientious about eating organic and wholesome food, since moving to SYD i’ve got a organic fruit and vege box delivered every week, as i can’t grow my own but i CAN support local organic farmers! its such a great challenge to use all the produce in creative and deliciously good for you ways. i just whipped up a batch of my 7xveg/cheese/chive muffins which are perfect for breakfast. And i was sent a recipe for zuchini chips which is where you coat sliced zuchini in yogurt and then dip in breadcrumbs then bake them. how good does that sound! Acne go back to the hell hole you came from 🙂 my skin is doing better, i am drinking more and more water. and while i really really really hate accutane (more than anything it is so bad for you, i’m effectively poisoning myself) it did eventually clear my skin to perfection. my main problem is that my skin problems are the direct result of my hormones, and going off the pill causes cystic acne. i was really interested in the video where you explained how that girl cut her pills with a razor blade over the course of months. i think that actually might work. my dermatologist thinks that i’ll have to stay on the pill to keep my skin clear, but i’m determined to find another solution. Only problem is i can’t afford to quit the pill cold turkey… i went and saw David Henderson, a hormone specialist on Beaumont street prior to taking the pill/accutane combo for the second time and he gave me progesterone cream.. anyway because i had stopped taking the pill and didn’t get my period for 6 months my body went into protest. My final thoughts on this whole matter is being a girl totally sucks big time. 🙂
Lily says
May 16, 2012 at 5:48 amHi Tracy!
Since the post is titled 7 reasons and you’ve already listed 6, don’t forget number 7: You have an army of blog readers who love you to bits!! 🙂
It’s so wonderful to hear everyone sharing their stories. We’re different ages and come from different parts of the world, but it feels like we can all really relate since we’ve all had similar experiences. Reading this blog makes me realise that people who have/had acne are some of the cleanest, healthiest, and most emotionally resilient people you will ever meet. In our quest to get rid of the acne curse we grow immensely, and this gives me a huge appreciation for everyone here. You are all strong, wonderful peeps.
LJ says
May 16, 2012 at 9:53 amReally true!
I think you’re so right that it makes such a big difference having somewhere to go and share your feelings and not be judged, and to get advice about what does and doesn’t work. And just to hear what everyone else has been going through, finding similarities for how I feel in what other people say is really helping me.
Some people just cannot understand what it’s like to feel the way we have felt about our skin – when I spoke to a family member one time, I was accused of being shallow and conceited because I thought everyone was always looking at my bad skin. I did, and I still do, think people look at my skin and examine it the way I do, I don’t think it’s easy to let go of that fear, but to link it to somehow feeling I was better than everyone else was utterly bizarre to me, and of course hurtful. But it made me realise just how different people who haven’t had acne can be, there’s just a basic disconnection in the way they see us and the way we see ourselves.
This is not to say that all people who’ve never had acne are going to be unsupportive of course.
Tracy says
May 16, 2012 at 1:19 pmThis is true – most people really don’t understand how painful acne can be. It’s really frustrating for us, but it is a really good lesson for us too – if we look at it from their perspective, they look at our whole face and hardly notice any acne (much like we notice someone else’s personality more than we notice their spots). If we looked upon our acne the way they do, we’d probably save ourselves lots of misery.
It’s funny because even though my boyfriend is super supportive, I know he still finds it frustrating when I get upset over acne, because to him I’m beautiful and wonderful and it’s hard for him to understand how a little pimple or two could possibly make me any less wonderful. On the flip side, if he ever gets upset or insecure about something, I find that it’s hard for me to understand too because I’m like “what are you worried about?? You’re great!! And whatever you’re worried about would never change how I or anyone else feels about you’.
And it’s when this happens that I understand why it’s so hard for other people to ‘get’ why acne is such a big deal to us.
Ali says
May 16, 2012 at 2:31 pmthank you thank you thank you for this post! I cannot express enough how thankful I am that I stumbled upon your website when my acne was the worse it’s ever been, I’m pretty sure the Universe sent your blog to me. My acne has since cleared up and I truely believe it’s due to the fact I stopped stressing out about it, began loving myself again and got rid of all the crap I was carrying around for so long. Again, thank you so much for this blog.
-Ali
A fellow Vancouverite
Tracy says
May 17, 2012 at 9:18 pmYay! 😀 That’s wonderful to hear Ali
Alexa says
May 19, 2012 at 1:22 pmI like this post. It makes so much sense that we break out when we are stressed out, and much of our stress comes from lack of control of food, water, sun exposure, men, family, and various other topics. My teenage years were full of stress, but now that I am older I handle stress a lot better and my acne has calmed down a lot. Children, teenagers, and young adults don’t nearly have the same understanding of themselves and freedom that adults can potentially attain. Our struggle in life and the consequences of our attitudes are unique for everyone depending when we learn each life lesson.
🙂 Being able to watch your train of thought change over the past few months has been exciting and helped me understand the relationship our bodies have with stress. Also, I’ve been able to pay attention to my own life and pin point when I am putting unnecessary stress on my self not long after it begins.
When I feel a pimple coming on, I smile it away these days. Literally, forcing a genuine smile (that sounds weird) is surprisingly effective!
Tracy says
May 19, 2012 at 6:42 pmThat’s a good idea. I’m going to start smiling my pimples away! 😀
Evelyn says
June 1, 2012 at 1:24 pmAwesome article!(as always)
My skin is doing really well, and so am I, letting go a bit on my strict control. But the thing is that I’ve been bitten by a tick and now I’m getting Lyme disease-like symptoms. And Lyme disease means antibiotics! Which makes me more scared then the disease itself!
I haven’t seen my doctor yet, but soon. In case I have the disease(I’m pretty sure) I want to take some precautions. I’m thinking lots and lots of probiotics to take with it, and fermented foods.
Do you have some ideas what I could do to prevent my skin from getting worse again?
Tracy says
June 1, 2012 at 7:55 pmHi Evelyn!
That really sucks :/ I’m sorry to hear that. Lyme is pretty serious though so it’s probably best to just take the antibiotics and be safe. Probiotics and lots of fermented foods during and after is also what i would recommend. And try your hardest not to stress about all of it… it is what it is…. stressing will only make things worse. Focus your thoughts on clear skin and not the fear.
Shreya says
June 18, 2012 at 3:22 pmI agree with you, though one thing bugs me. I know so many people in unhealthy relationships and stressful circumstances, who eat unhealthy food but do not break out at all! I have been eating healthy and been kind to my skin but sometimes, my skin just won’t behave. Either it’s completely clear or I get one spot and its downhill from there!
Do genes play a really big role? At such situations I am at a total loss of explanation!
Tracy says
June 18, 2012 at 8:03 pmHi Shreya,
Yes I think genes or something like that definitely has a role in it – everyone is predisposed to different diseases and disorders when they don’t look after their health. Unfortunately we are prone to zits. Other people are prone to all sorts of other things and if they don’t have them now, they’ll get them later!
Valerie says
June 2, 2013 at 4:28 pmAhhh how synchronistic you just posted this!
I was actually just thinking about how I still have a bit of an attachment to having mild acne. I used to have painful, cystic acne and I’ve had some form of acne consistently for ten years, to varying degrees. In a way, I think I’ve subconsciously valued having some mild acne, because already having it (and it being better than before, so I know it could be worse) has been less stressful than when my face is totally clear. When my face is totally clear, I have sometimes adopted that stance of waiting for the axe to drop. Everyone always raves about how smooth my skin looks but like you said, there’s no one exact controlled variable that I can rely on. Things are always changing. I can’t guarantee that because my skin is smooth and clear today that it’s going to be like that exactly next week.
I’m connecting more to my old patterns of “needing” to make everyone happy. That validation was my survival mechanism. I feel that as I release that more and more, my skin & its state can be totally for me, not for others.
I do completely believe that I create my own reality, not just KIND of, but totally. Once I’ve begun embracing that, everything has changed for me. I also understand though, that many things change in stages, when I have the energy and the ability to channel my focus into it.
Love the work you do, Tracy!
There have always been SUCH strong parallels between your journey and mine. It’s cool to be wingin it with you. 🙂
Tracy says
June 3, 2013 at 8:36 amThanks for the great comment Valerie! I’m glad you’ve embraced that we are the creators of our reality and that has changed your world!! 😀 I’ve realized this slowly… logically at first, but now I see it happening more and more
Misty says
July 9, 2014 at 10:36 pmJust a thought, you might already know..but I would be careful with the copper IUD. I know of a n.d. who worked with women who got copper toxic from this..
Svea says
July 12, 2014 at 3:13 amHi Misty,
Tracy is away for a few days, but that’s indeed a little worrying. I’ll let her know! 😉
Jam says
May 5, 2017 at 10:17 pmThe fact that you mentioned Carli’s clean and clear regime just sealed the deal as to how STRAIGHT UP you are on your blog.. I too was fooled into this harsh-ass regime with the wash cloth and crap. Now I use kiehls oil cleanser and its OK but SOOO pricey. Going to try manuka honey cleansing now that I have my diet and lifestyle habits in check. Final stretch! TRULY you are a great writer and you have given me so MUCH HOPE. THANK YOU and bless your family.
Tracy Raftl says
May 6, 2017 at 9:13 amhahah yah man, Carli’s Clear and Smooth – what a joke!
Anyway – good luck on your journey Jam, you will get there 🙂