In my last video, I told you all about my wonderful time on the off-grid island community of Lasqueti. It was a very inspirational time, and it also was a very strong time for self awareness and growth.

One particular awareness experience did happen to relate to my skin and my acne and the related emotional pain that hides deep inside of me. So I want to share the story with you!

If my skin is clear (which it tends to be for months at a time, and then it decides to break out in mild acne for a little while), I forget acne ever existed. It’s like I’m on top of the world, and there’s nothing that can get me down. It’s hard to even remember why acne caused me so much grief, and it feels like I’ll never have to worry about acne again.

But then it always comes back eventually. And then follows the anxiety about it. It doesn’t seem to be about the acne itself, since the spots are always quite minor and I know that no one cares about them or likes me any less. But just the presence of the acne at all activates this intense, emotional, fear that is hiding somewhere inside me.

And I’ve noticed that the anxiety particularly likes to rear its head If I’m breaking out AND I’m away from my comfort zone (as I was this past week on my trip to Lasqueti Island).

I can still have fun, but my time away is always spent overshadowed by this lurking anxiety monster, which is fueled by the deep emotional trauma of the past combined with the uncertainty that comes along with being far from home. This pattern has happened to me numerous times and I’m SICK of it because it’s always the same thing over and over. 

Anyway… all of this suppressed emotion about my skin seemed to come to the surface while I was on Lasqueti and I ended up unexpectedly breaking down and crying in front of my friends! That was not what I was expecting to happen!! (and while they didn’t really understand, I’m so grateful they are loving and supportive…!)

Watch the video to get the story:

What do you think? Can you relate to this experience? Share your thoughts below. PS – I love you and thank you for supporting The Love Vitamin!

photo by Elana Kalis