Yes. Yesterday I had dreads… today… no more. Did I know that April 26th 2013 would be the day that my dreadlocks’ five year reign on my head would come to an end? No I did not.
It just kind of happened out of no where. I was going to post about something completely different today!!
In today’s post, I cry in this video talking about why I was contemplating getting rid of them. I was feeling a strong pull to do it and I was really feeling like it was time to let go.
The urge came on strong and sudden yesterday even though it’s been a long time coming – but at the same time, I was scared as shit to really do it. So much fear brought to the surface. So many questions. Will I be pretty without them? Will I look like a little boy? Is my personality enough? Will alternative folks know I’m hip?
It’s kind of like deciding to cut off a limb. Except, like…. well, not really. Limbs are way more important than dreadlocks. But the dreads do become a part of you and your identity. A lot of attachments there. And I wanted to shed myself of those attachments and see what was underneath. The real me. I feel like my journey has allowed me to grow enough that I no longer need what they symbolize, even though a big part of me is still clinging to it.
Anyway, watch the video. It’s emotional:
The video was open ended, with me saying that I don’t know when I’m actually going to do it. But once I make a decision on something, I have zero patience whatsoever. So I immediately walked to the bathroom, grabbed the scissors and lobbed them off.
Funny, as soon as I faced the fear head on… poof. The fear completely disappeared.
Video of me with the aftermath and my thoughts:
So yeah! There you go. Some mixed feelings, but overall feeling very freed, and I think the big lesson here is that the reality is never as scary as our fears. It’s okay to be scared, but it’s important not to let the fears keep you from doing what you need/want to do.
Also if you are wondering what I did with the dreadlocks – whether or not I had a hippie ritual ceremony and spread them around the forest, or burned them – nah. I just threw them in the garbage. I was attached to what they symbolized, not the clumps of dead hair. I’m happy to move on.
Do you have any stories about cutting hair, facing fears, or anything related? Share in the comments!
Christelle says
April 27, 2013 at 9:20 amPersonally, I think you look fabulous au naturel! You sure knew how to rock the dreadlocks, but I think your hair looks so pretty and healthy in its natural state! Good for you for challenging whatever it is that your dreadlocks symbolized. Change is tough, but ultimately it can be liberating! My hair-challenge this year (alongside weaning off the pill) was giving up blow-drying it straight. I have uncontrollable curls, and I’m learning to embrace them, grow them out, and accept them. 🙂
Cheryl says
April 27, 2013 at 9:21 amSo cute, and grown-up BEAUTIFUL too. I’m really impressed with your hair-cutting abilities, too. If I took scissors to my head, I would reallllly have a reason to cry! Haha! You did a wonderful job, and you made a courageous choice to follow your own truth. Keep rockin’ it, Tracy. You’re a sweetheart.
Adel-Alexander says
April 27, 2013 at 9:43 amDIdn’t you lose a lot of hair though? :p
Kit says
April 27, 2013 at 9:59 amYes, you are pretty without them.
No, you do not look like a little boy.
Yes, your personality is not only enough – it’s remarkable. What you do has made a huge difference in my life, health and happiness, and I’m just one of thousands of readers. You CHANGE LIVES, Tracy.
And you’re hip because you challenge conventional “wisdom,” live in a way that makes you truly happy, and devote yourself to helping others do the same. There aren’t many things cooler and more radical than that.
Keep being a badass 🙂
Jessica says
April 27, 2013 at 4:18 pmMy thoughts exactly! Perfectly said Kit. I truly admire you Tracey, thank you for being you.
Ryan says
April 27, 2013 at 10:01 amHey Tracy! I have been following you for a few years now, and I think that many of us see you so much more than your dreadlocks. You have been such an influential power for me, and probably many of your viewers, that many of us are with you in whatever you decide to do. I know it was a scary process for you to finally settle on chopping off those locks :), but, as you said, fear is a limiting factor and facing those fears only makes us stronger and well developed individuals. I am so happy you faced your insecurities and fears and went for it. I am slowly coming to terms with a lot of things in my life, and I am adopting a more fear facing attitude. I refuse to let fear control my life, and there is so much I want to do and see, so I am going for it!!
Thank you for all your videos, and for being such a support to so many people. We are all here for you, and we support you in all that you do. You look awesome with or without those dreadlocks, and many of us love you for who you are!!!
Take care!
Giulia says
April 27, 2013 at 10:26 amBeautiful!
I do have a similar story. I am a woman of color, and I have spent my life using chemicals on my hair every 2 months in order to make it straight, since I was a child (my Mom took me to a hair salon at 8 to “solve the problem”, my father used to call me “the lion”, etc etc). I was extremely insecure of my natural hair, always have been. 5 years ago I chopped it all off. By myself, in order to feel free from this insecurity. I cried. lol It was very short. I was shocked by my reaction and by how difficult it had been, and from that moment I started to re-evaluate the importance of my appearance and several other things, it was a useful experience. If you google the term “Big chop” you will find many stories similar to mine, on youtube as well. Many African American women are making the same choice these days (the choice to be different from what is generally represented by the media, since there is nothing to “correct” in big fluffy hair).
You look beautiful! Well done!
Michael says
April 27, 2013 at 10:31 amI actually went through a similar journey. I didn’t have dreadlocks, but I had insecurities about my forehead – people used to say it was too big, so I always balanced it out with longer hair. Some sort of fringe or having an interesting “swept back” look. But this year I just couldn’t deal with it and wanted to just free myself from hiding that part of me – so I shaved all of my hair off! What’s funny is that I was talking to some people after I did it and they said my forehead wasn’t even big, that it was proportionate to my face! I suppose I just let the bullies get to me too much. Any way, you look absolutely great with and without dreadlocks and I’m so happy you get to swim again and you look like you have indeed grown from the experience. Peace and love!
Abril says
April 27, 2013 at 10:55 amTracy you look amazing… and everyone that has been following you and knows you personally, know the person you are with or without dreads, with or without whatever you decide to do.
You’re so brave, thanks for both videos and sharing your feelings with us 🙂
Miles says
April 27, 2013 at 11:22 amGot to see more of the house too. Your good. I personally never thought much of the dreads. Always have thought favorably about Tracy. I think it shows that Luke is supportive. Emotional stability issues?? Phobias?? NAH, couldn’t be. Your clearly likable to tons of people, no pun intended. I think your going to continue to enjoy yourself for a super long time. When are you going to loose the contraceptive device?? Wait, don’t answer that. Take care, from the 50 year old, and enjoying you too.
Ann Marie says
April 27, 2013 at 11:22 amYou look beautiful!
I know the fear you’re talking about, I used to have hair down to my butt (same color and texture as yours), and then I donated it one day and it was a strange and awesome freedom to realize that my hair didn’t matter at all, except for the child who would get the wig with my hair in it. -I’ve donated 2 other times since then, and now I even cut my own hair all the time (saves a ton of money!)
Letting go of that emotional attachment to our hair is like a weight lifted. If it weren’t for the fact that I had to work in the professional world (teacher), I wouldn’t care if it got shaved off.
Thanks for sharing your journey!
Tracy says
April 27, 2013 at 4:21 pmThank you so much for all the kind, loving support everyone 🙂 I just love sharing my little journeys with all of you lovely people, it’s so wonderful
Christy says
April 27, 2013 at 5:17 pmYou look beautiful!!! I loved your dreads, but your hair is gorgeous!!! I think a pixie cut would be Fantastic!!!! I once shaved off ALL my hair( during teenage angst!) and it was the best ever!! So easy to take care of AND it looked hot! I think you would look FABULOUS In a pixie!!!!! Good for you for facing your fears!! You are an inspiration!!!
Tracy says
April 27, 2013 at 5:28 pmhaha I’m excited to get rid of this bob and go get the real Pixie ‘do!
tamara says
April 27, 2013 at 5:38 pmYou look freakin’ amazing! Absolutely beautiful 🙂 what a wonderful start to something new….let it blossom for u. Congratulations on being so courageous. Go girl go!!!
Sam says
April 27, 2013 at 5:48 pmWow – I can’t believe this entry just showed up in my inbox! I’m actually getting ready (struggling) to chop my mop of hair in the next month. I work at a cancer center and want to donate my hair. I love my hair, it’s become my identity….if I ever get a compliment, it’s about my long, thick hair. I’ve always worn it long and cutting the recommended 12 inches to donate will mean that I will have short hair.
It most likely won’t be flattering. I have a round face and the cut might make me look boyish, or a little “chubby” in the face. I’m scared because I’m afraid when the hair goes….nothing pretty will be left. Absurd? Maybe but I’m terrified. Thank you so much for this Tracy. This will give me the bump I need to get to the hair salon next month.
Sam says
April 27, 2013 at 5:49 pmOh and by the way…..you look gorgeous. You have such a fresh, lovely look. You literally glow in all of your videos.
Wendy says
April 27, 2013 at 6:24 pmTracy you are beautiful inside and out. I’m very proud of you for facing your fears and cutting off your dreadlocks. You will look awesome in a Pixie cut and I look forward to seeing the new you! xoxox
Tree says
April 27, 2013 at 6:31 pmYou look very good now. Do you want to grow long hair? Are you still not washing your hair? If you want to make it feel soft and detangled try the vinegar rinse. It works wonders.
Brooklyn Sumers says
April 27, 2013 at 8:49 pmI Shaved one side of my head a couple days ago which i had wanted to do forever and convinced myself not to. Then i was watching TIE ’86 and being jealous of all of these awesome punk hairstyles so i grabbed some scissors and just lopped it off… then bleached it… and now it looks fucking awesome.
Sarah says
April 27, 2013 at 9:55 pmTracy, this is so timely. I have been putting up with a job that no longer serves me or brings me joy and my husband and I have been talking about me becoming a stay at home mom, and even adding a second child to our family. Scary stuff. But, you are so right. It’s ok to be afraid. It’s not ok to let it hold us back. Thank you for being so raw with us. You look beautiful, but the most important thing is down to your soul you ARE beautiful…even with my eyes closed.
Tyler says
April 27, 2013 at 10:48 pmThat’s awesome. It’s all about finding out as much about the real you as possible. It’s a never ending journey. Every once and awhile you have to shake things up. Let go of some things that define you and start defining yourself. Congrats 🙂
Annika says
April 28, 2013 at 5:36 amHi Tracy,
I have been following your videos for about a year now and have been really impressed with your advice, which has helped me so much. I think you come across as a very together and mature person (so I definitely wouldn’t worry about looking young). I have so much admiration for your honest and frank video posts and blogs, very inspiring, so thanks so much. And the hair looks great! Take care.
Autumn says
April 28, 2013 at 5:51 amI think you look very pretty and grown up without them! Way to go to letting go of attachments!
Penelope says
April 28, 2013 at 6:17 amWith or without your dreads you are you, still unique and lovely.
Lorena says
April 28, 2013 at 10:16 amAww Tracy, you could be bald and you’d still look lovely!
Melissa says
April 28, 2013 at 10:34 amTracy!
I can not explane in words what a beautiful person you are… You are so open and express your feeling beautifully. Each day you are growing, blooming rapidly… It’s very rare to find people like you nowadays… Your partner Luke is the luckiest man on the earth!!! At least in my eyes it is for sure… You are such an inspiration in my life and I want to thank you deeply for that…. If it want for you I wouldn’t even think about having goals in life or to even think about being a beer person each day…. I Accomplished things in my life in the last 1,6 years I thought I could never, ever b4!!!!!!! And you,Tracy, were definitely one of the reasons that Inspired me….
And to be totally honest, I think you look sooooo much better without the dreads!!! You already have such beautiful silky shiny, angel like hair!!! It will grow out in no time, and I think you would look breathtaking with your silky hair down to your back:) but you are gorgeous no matter what
🙂 thank you again for everything Tracy!!!!!
Sending you all my love,
Melissa
P.s: sorry for all the typo, it’s hard writing all this on my iPhone!! Lol
Sarah Range says
April 28, 2013 at 11:12 amWoohoo! You are so beautiful, in your courage and strength and your Authenticity! Just shine your light, dear one!
A few years ago I had decided to let go of 14 inches of hair. I really wanted to shave it, since I witnessed a dear friend cut off her lovely locks and shaved. It looked so freeing! But I just went with a pixie cut as well. But still it was good to release all the years and what they represented, what I had gone through and grown through. Now that my hair has grown out again (and is much healthier than before thanks to coconut oil, baking soda and lavender- vinegar rinse) I am loving keeping it long again, but I don’t have the same attachment to it I once had. I am more than my hair! I am more than my physical body!
Thanks again for sharing!
Chrystia says
April 28, 2013 at 12:08 pmTracy, I think you look beautiful! Your decision just seems so right, with spring beginning and flowers blooming…:) and now you can braid it!
Personally I never liked dreadlocks, I think it makes a person a bit less approachable.
Keep smiling 😀
Ps. Actually it would be interesting how you’d look in longer straight hair.
trish says
April 28, 2013 at 5:23 pmTracey this video,even if it was shorter than most, is so amazing. I have been a part of this blog for quite awhile and you are not only an inspiration to so many people myself included but you are someone that I think others can really learn more things than just skin related issues from. I loved this video because it has your always real honesty and open heart shared with the love vitamin lovers out here. I think you look great without your dreads and I want to just give you kudo’s for pressing for it even being as afraid as you were. Says’s a lot about you!! much love Tracey
paul says
April 29, 2013 at 7:25 amTracy, first off (as everyone else has already said) you are awesome and I think a pixie cut would look amazing!!!
My story is like many others (so I’ll keep it short.) I am a long-time acne sufferer (I am 27) and have been following your posts for a while now – a few weeks ago finally gave up BP, Salicylic acid etc. and am trying to wean myself onto a more natural regimen (my goal to eventually go caveman or atleast close)
Currently going through ‘detox’ or withdrawl of some kind. Worst acne I’ve had since teen years (except now I know -thanks to you- that I shouldn’t pick at or touch it!!). But your two most recent posts really resonated with me (even though I’m a guy- media has an effect on us too in a certain way). I found confidence after growing out my hair in my late teens (along with finding myself in other ways) but then a year ago I started going bald. It happened quick. So now I buzz my hair all the way down. I recently relocated and started a ‘professional job’ and work in an office and deal with clients. Suddenly I find myself really struggling with major confidence issues for the first time in YEARS. I went from being a long haired/bearded, artsy guy with a mostly clear face and having a ‘cool job’ to being a bald (and clean shaven), acne covered mess in a ‘professional’ environment. I hardly recognize myself in the mirror these days. Needless to say, I had many attachments to my hair /beard and its been a BIG struggle trying to move forward.
I really admire your strength and wisdom and appreciate all you do very much. (Thanks for reading, and sorry for such a long post!)
jill says
April 29, 2013 at 10:24 amHi, I know you don’t take personal emails,,,but IF you can email me..please do. I’m lost and considering the Matt stone research, etc…please email if possiible…I’d be so …thankful 🙂
Su Red says
April 30, 2013 at 12:26 amI loved your dreads, but its great that you can be yourself without them. Its scary to me how many people are so attached to their hair, like its such an important part of them. its just hair! Ive shaved my head bald a few times and it is strange going out that way, but its so freeing!
Natalie Ross says
May 2, 2013 at 7:43 amYour new do is adorable!
Hannah says
May 2, 2013 at 11:37 amYou look great!
zyeir says
May 3, 2013 at 7:22 pmhi i have dreads im really trying to convince my parent to cut my dreads but when i read your blog i got inspried
Kat says
May 8, 2013 at 3:59 pmHey Tracy, you look beautiful with or without dreads! You should use headbands like these (http://shorthaired.tumblr.com/post/25059838214)it will look amazing on you!
Tracy says
May 8, 2013 at 5:24 pmYES! I was thinking something like this, but couldn’t visualize exactly what I was thinking of. This is it. Thanks!! I am definitely going to keep my eyes open for this type of thing
Kat says
May 11, 2013 at 4:40 pmYay! Glad I could help. I love short hair! If you don’t mind, here are some other styles that would look super cute on you!
(http://weheartit.com/entry/37437639/via/amandaasouza)(http://weheartit.com/entry/25616470/via/lusiaaq)(http://weheartit.com/entry/19463734/via/xnikisnow)(http://weheartit.com/entry/45696089)
(http://annelisa.tumblr.com/image/49767658113)
(http://www.loveheadmistress.com/155-spring-demi-turbans)- this site has a ton of accessories for hair
You should use some father earrings too! (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_8?url=search-alias%3Djewelry&field-keywords=feather%20earrings&sprefix=feather+%2Cjewelry%2C253&rh=i%3Ajewelry%2Ck%3Afeather%20earrings)
(http://www.amazon.com/Braided-Leather-Headband-Feathers-Black/dp/B007JZ8U4M/ref=pd_sbs_a_14)
There are turbans that really look cute too!
Sorry if that was too much, But i’m in love with pixie hairsytles (:
Good luck and have fun! hair creativity is awesome!
Grace says
May 10, 2013 at 3:45 amYou looked great before, and you still look great even now! I think your new ‘do suits your face shape. You look amazing!
f. says
May 19, 2013 at 11:33 amyou are even more beautiful without them!
Tracy says
May 19, 2013 at 12:51 pmThanks Lovely – it’s great having them gone 🙂
DeeDee says
June 12, 2013 at 10:49 amI love the new hair. You are one of the few I thought looked cute in dreads, but I much prefer this. It makes you look fresh and clean.
FeelingBleak says
June 26, 2013 at 3:51 pmSo after 3 and a half years of patience, blood, sweat and tears, I found the courage a few hours ago to chop them off.. This is something I have been thinking about for a while now – they take nearly 12hours to dry plus washing my head was never thought to be such a mission, constantly in the way when sleeping and daily life, and the general public are starting to stare and judge (they are about 10cm belowe shoulder) I started to become very self conscious and insecure, with the whole generalization that revolves around the hairstyle..
All I can say is ‘what a huge mistake’ – why did I do it?!?!?!
Dont get me wrong, I was all for it and very excited to have a easy, weightless head of hair.. But now, flipping through photos and starring at the mirror I realized I gave in to the judgements and forcings of every day society.. Why cant people just let each other be..
Its been hardly a day and Ive already decided to grow them back
I am sad, frustrated, angry and emotional.. What have I done
Tracy says
June 26, 2013 at 9:24 pmHi there,
I’m so sorry to hear that you gave them up for the wrong reasons and are feeling the regret… *hugs*. Even though it’s painful, I feel this could be a powerful learning experience for you if you just roll with it. Perhaps due to this mistake, you will now be more grounded in your choices and less swayed by the judgment of others, creating more happiness for yourself in the future. lots of love, xo
Talitha says
July 16, 2013 at 5:44 pmJust stumbled across your blog today as i am in the process of deciding to de-dread myself. I have had my dreads for nearly 11 years, getting them done when I was 18, so a large chunk of my formative young adult years have been spent with them.
Thank-you for sharing your process and thoughts, similiar to my insecurities and fears, of life and my image without my hairstyle. I know my chiropractor and my neck will be happy when they are gone, living by the beach will be so much easier as I will be able to swim freely, not only just in the morning and only on a sunny day so they have time to dry!!
Your new do looks great, and I was very impressed with how much you could comb out and how healthy it looks!! Well done.
Hope you enjoyed the summer months of a cool head and lots of swimming!!
Cheers
Tracy says
July 17, 2013 at 9:49 pmHi Talitha,
Of course everyone has their own reasons for moving on.. personally for me it was definitely the right decision… I’m loving life without them! Even though it was scary, for me it felt like it was time to move on. If you are feeling the draw to do it, just do it and process the emotions as they come. And totally enjoy your first swim without them!! it’s amazing!
Ashlee says
September 3, 2014 at 11:07 pmThis is exactly what I needed today. 🙂 a little courage to chop off my dreads & begin the next chapter. Thank you for sharing. You’re lovely.
Tracy Raftl says
September 4, 2014 at 11:01 amYou can do it! I haven’t regretted it for a second. It was definitely the right choice for me. Good luck 🙂
tom says
January 17, 2016 at 2:35 pmOld posts for sure its 2016…and its been forever thinking about the chop…thinking and knowing its the right thing to do but never growing the balls to do it…16 years of dreads falling beyond my knees…its funny i came across your very honest blog…i was wondering what other peoples experiences were like…this one spoke my mind entirely. My ego doesn’t need them anymore, iam done…but i wonder how much longer it will take me to put siccors to hand to dreads… Mmmmmmm?. Thanks for this. Hope your journeying is ever growing, much love tom.
Tracy Raftl says
January 19, 2016 at 5:11 amJust do it, it’s awesome 🙂 I am still loving dreadless living! haha
Hannah says
January 7, 2017 at 8:47 pmThank you thank you thank you so much for sharing this video with the world! U never know how much of an impact u can make! I have dreads and for awhile now I have been thinking about cutting them off. I want to stand out, my dreads helped that a lot! I was known as the sexy dread headed tattooed white girl but now… I don’t need that personality boost! I want to pop but I’m afraid that if I cut my dreads ppl won’t see my individuality but ur video…. ur video helped me so much! So, thank you!
Tracy Raftl says
January 8, 2017 at 11:43 amDo it if you’re feeling it’s what’s right for you… I haven’t regretted it for a second!