Do you blame acne for all your anxiety, depression, and unhappiness? If so… read on…

Last post, I rambled off a bunch of my current worries and anxieties, and during this process, I realized that my problem is all to do with the fact that if I feel upset or anxious, I like to blame everyone and everything else for my misery!

If you haven’t read that post, go back and read it here.

Here are some of my current blames:

“I know I stayed up late playing Rock Band with my new roommates because I thought it was ridiculously fun and couldn’t stop, but now I’m tired and unproductive and it sucks. Stupid video games + new living situation ruining my day.”

“I know my skin isn’t the best ever right now, and perhaps it wouldn’t be this way if I could buy ___ or ___ or  do ___ or ___ … but I don’t know where to get it in my new town. Damn being poor… and stupid Australia being expensive and not easy to ship to… and blah blah blah…..!”

“Cooking dinner is such a pain sometimes. If only I still had my sharp knife I had at home… then it would be easier and I wouldn’t mind it. Stupid dull knives. Stupid being poor and not being able to afford another good one”

“We have a nice quiet house here, but it’s really dark inside for making videos, and there’s lots of nice plants and a patio outside, but people who live in the building walk by every once in a while and I can’t handle that. Stupid not private patio and dark house”

I know these are minor complaints, but … exactly. I need to get over it and choose happiness instead! None of these things are anyone’s fault but my own. And this whole lesson definitely carries over to more serious problems too, including our skin.

So here I am to give solutions to how we can all stop this incessant blame game that we’re playing and take responsibility for our own happiness. If we don’t take responsibility for it, then we are powerless! We are the mercy of waiting for annoying and unpleasant things to leave our lives so that we can be free…. but that probably won’t ever happen. There’s always going to be some kind of pain in the ass that we have to deal with.

Waiting for happiness to occur under very specific circumstances is fruitless.

Here’s how to stop… and since most of us are dealing with the particular problem of acne, and I’m willing to be that most of us are blaming our misery on it, I will use that in the examples. However you can apply these to any problems in your life :

1. Think – Is There a Lesson to be Learned Here?I know acne is horrible and it has a lot to answer to as far as making us miserable goes, but can you accept that in having acne and been given this challenge to overcome it that there may be important and life changing lessons to be learned in the process? And that that may be a good thing?
2. Look at the Issue from a Third Party Perspective.Now, I’m not saying that instead of blaming other things that you need to place guilt bashing blame on yourself. But you do need to accept that you may have had a role in creating the problem. You may blame society or your doctor or your parents for not teaching you that an unhealthy lifestyle would possibly create an acne problem, but you were the one who led your life.There’s no point bashing yourself because you probably didn’t know any better, but you do need to accept that you created the mess. This will give you power knowing that if you created it, you can reverse it. If “they” are responsible, then your destiny lies with them, and I don’t see them getting rid of your acne very quickly.
3. Let Go of your Attachment to the Way Acne Makes You Feel.Blaming acne for our misery is super easy to do, because if acne did this to us, then we are a victim. We deserve sympathy. We can stay small and hidden and in our safe zones and never have to do anything scary or difficult that we don’t want to do (We can’t! We have acne! It’s acne’s fault!). The more we emotionally invest in a problem, the more it sinks its teeth into us. This is a tough step – feeling bitter and resentful is a lot easier than letting it go, but if we don’t then we can’t move forward.
4. Look at the Positives. If there Aren’t Any, Look at the Positives in the Rest of Your Life.For me, acne has taught me SO much, it’s ridiculous. I have learned so many lessons, grown so much as a person, learned how to live and eat healthfully which will benefit me for the rest of my life. Plus now I have this amazing blog about it which I feel has given me way more focused purpose than anything else I’ve ever done.And as for my current gripes – I would like to say that the great things about living here in my new location is that I have independence to eat and do whatever I want, we have Rock Band which is super fun, and even though my new roommate likes to stay up late, him and his girlfriend are so fun and awesome, it makes me happy :)Also, even though I don’t have a good knife, we have a dishwasher which at least makes my chores easier! And even though there isn’t much privacy here to make videos, there is a quiet park nearby… and there is a fitness centre literally 10 seconds walk away from the house so it will be easy to stay fit while living here! And the beach is close by and I’m in Australia! IT’S WARM HERE! Woohoo!

There’s so much in this world to be thankful for! Don’t let acne or anything else stand in the way of your happiness!

Love you all ♥

photo by Julia Vobhenrich